First, I wanted to share some more details about our weekend. On Sunday we had our friends Billie & Derek , their son Eli and Abby & Jonathan and their daughter Adalyn over for lunch. None of us have family here close by so we wanted to spend the holiday with friends.
There has been a lot of discussion lately between my husband and I about our storage, or lack thereof in this house. I know right about now you're thinking..."how did we de-rail onto storage". Follow me...I promise it'll make sense momentarily. Because there is so little storage inside of the house, our garage is basically used for storage alone. The items that take up the most room in our garage are #1: baby items, and in a close second (no lie!) #2: Rubbermaid's full of china and crystal. I'm not kidding.
In light of the recent discussions about storage our possession of mass amounts of china was fresh on the brain and when we decided to host Easter I figured it was HIGH TIME we put that china to good use. High time I tell you! I should preface this all by saying that despite having access to all of that china - we've NEVER used any of it and we just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. Pitiful, I know. Our china is not your typical matchy-matchy china purchased from a department store off of our wedding registry....oh no it's not. It is special china. The reason it is so special is because it's all different....each place setting unique.
My Grandmomma used to work at a jewelry store and had access to lots of fine china. According to my Mother it used to be very "vogue" to have a full set of china (12 place settings) but for each individual place setting to be different with one thing tying them all together (like the same color scheme).
Apparently my two eldest sisters really thought that was neat (which I'm assuming they expressed to her at one of our many holiday dinners around her table which was set with nothing but china), so my Grandmother began purchasing place settings (one at a time) in specific matching hues as they would go on clearance at her jewelry store. She saved them to give to them and since she started it for them, she did it for my other sister Melissa and for me as well. What she did for one...she did for us all and I mean right down to the penny people. She wanted to be fair in that way. Coming from a big family (I think she was one of eleven), I suppose fairness was of utmost importance to her.
So for the first time, this past Saturday, Tim and I opened each card board box, (each labeled with a post it labeled in her hand writing as to what was inside) that held a place setting per box and carefully unwrapped our china piece by piece. IT. WAS. SO. COOL. I'm not a real fancy schmancy person, but just knowing she hand picked each setting for us with much thought about what would coordinate and much love in wanting us to have such a nice thing from her...it was just really special unpacking it for the first time. We washed it all and set the table (like it's supposed to be set) the night before. I may or may not have had to consult the internet to determine how exactly to do that...you'll never know! When it was all done it looked so pretty and I kept saying..."man, my Grandmomma would have been so proud to see this and to know I was using what she'd so generously given". I've missed her so much since she passed away. We used to talk weekly and there's definitely been a void in my life without those phone calls. I know it's just china, but little things remind me of her every now and then and those little things make me smile and think of her. This was one of those little things. It wasn't just china.
Everyone brought different things to make up the meal and it was delicious! It was a lovely way to spend Easter Sunday. Despite being stuffed to the gills and having kids who were super tired we managed to snap some pictures to document the event. Thanks for coming over y'all!
Now...back to my first day without my baby. It was hard. There's no way to "church it up". It was hard and it will continue to be hard, however, it is what it is and it must be done.
Thankfully I made an initial visit yesterday to the daycare to meet her "teacher" and familiarize myself with her room and drop-off/pick-up protocols. Her room is right down the hall from Kennedy's pre-school room so it will be as convenient as getting two kids somewhere so I can get myself to work by 8 AM can be I suppose.
I say I'm thankful for going yesterday because I think I got most of my emotion out then. I was broken out into the straight up ugly cry before we even got out of the parking lot. I called Tim to talk to him about it and it was one of those times where you are so overcome with emotion that you are trying to speak but words won't come out because your throat is so constricted over the quick onset of said emotion. IT. WASN'T. PRETTY.....AT ALL. He reassured me as best he could that she and I would be ok and by last night I was just nose to the grindstone about the whole thing.
I love this daycare facility and have been nothing but happy with it since Kennedy began there over a year ago, but it's harder this time around because we had an in-home nanny with Kennedy until she was 18 months old. This is my first experience leaving an infant anywhere and let me tell you - it's not for the faint people. As a parent, you want nothing but the best for your children....individual attention, tons of love, to be picked up as soon as they whimper (ha!). I think yesterday was just a realization that although she will be loved and she will be taken care of and all basic needs will be met, it will not be all about her. So...she will not be spoiled, but she WILL be OK and so will I (eventually).
I have to know that God knows my heart...he knows my anxieties, my worries and my sadness and he's with me in this moment. We placed ads and spent time looking for someone to come into our home to care for her. We also spent time looking for someone who kept children in their home and we just kept ending back with no options but daycare for one reason or another. Most important to me is that Avery and Kennedy both know that we love them deeply and wholly. I feel confident that what we do here in our home with them 4 days a week verses what happens away from us at daycare and school 3 days a week (a daycare and school that we love and feel great about) is going to instill that feeling in them.
So, I worked a 1/2 day today and will do the same Friday to ease Avery and I into this new normal. Next week it will be back to my usual schedule of three 9 hour days. If you think of it - just say a little prayer for us. It's just so hard to believe that eight short weeks ago:
~This happened ~
It's true what they say - cherish each moment because they fly on by!